At the beginning of 2014 I suffered a massive relapse, it came as a shock to me because I had been doing quite well up until that time. However, looking back there were three things which had worked against me to make me more vulnerable to the relapse:
- I had recently worked in a very stressful environment teaching kids who had been thrown out of mainstream school. Any reserve energy and resilience I did have was eaten up by that experience.
- Eke and I were still living with his mum (you fill in the gaps)
- I had just recovered from a cold, before catching a cold sore to only contract the flu
So, this set the stage for me entering into 2014 weakened. When the relapse struck in February it gave me the push that I needed to want to fight back against the illness. Because of it, I resolved to do everything in my power to be better by the end of 2014. I wasn’t getting any younger, I was sick of being sick and I wanted to start trying for a family.
It’s taken six years to actually get a diagnosis during that time doctors have treated me like I’ve made the whole thing up, relatives like I’m too lazy to work and Christians like I’m lacking in faith. The diagnosis of Peripheral Nerve Hyperexcitability given in June finally justified me but also gave me something to fight back against. I was prescribed anti-epileptics to manage the symptoms, but anyone who knows me well, would know I wasn’t too keen to start taking medication especially one that was potentially fatal (so far I’ve taken about 5 of them, I should probably be on my 4th prescription by now).
The thing that really began to frustrate me was that no matter how hard I tried fight the illness, every few weeks or so I would suffer another relapse. I had one beautiful day during the summer, Eke and I went to the beach and I felt so alive, so full of health, vitality, peace, joy – absolutely symptom free but two weeks later I relapsed.
I was in distress and confused. What was happening here? Even though I was eating more healthily and trying harder, I was worse off then I was the previous year. In many respects it felt like I was dying from the inside out.
I received a letter from the specialist doctor who had diagnosed me, they had found an antibody which was attacking my nervous system but I had to wait until November to find out what it all meant. Nevertheless, armed with this new information I became more specific in my prayer life – focusing all my energy on battling the illness it was exhausting and I felt so small and alone in comparison to it.
On top of all of this ‘fighting’, Eke and I began to experience financial hardship. Because he was still recovering from being ill, his basic wage was only enough to cover our rent and bills, I was no longer working at that time – schools being out. This time was a real test of faith for both of us, I had to forsake my healthier diet because we just couldn’t afford it but in doing so my symptoms worsened. I could no longer afford the hosting bills for this website, so it was suspended before being at risk of permanently being deleted. There was nothing I could do, I could only leave this work that He had given to me in His hands. I used this time to really focus on me and my needs and YHWH used this time to reveal His most profound healing truth to date to me.
Dear friend, this truth has not only changed the way I view health, healing and illness, but it has changed the way I view life. It has had such a profound affect on me that I decided that I needed to write a book and share this lesson with every Believer with a chronic illness. I’ve called the book:
The Life More Abundant: True Hope for Healing for every Believer with a Chronic Illness
I just know that this book will bless you because it blesses me. If you see yourself at all in my story then you need to get this book. It’s currently free to download until Monday the 3rd of November before the price will be increased to a minimum donation of £3.60.