I’ve been away from the blog for a while, that’s because I caught a cold, then developed a cold sore and finally I caught the flu which I’m still recovering from. The funny thing is that I haven’t had any of these in the longest time, I mean years and then BAM! All 3 buses came at once! I used to suffer a lot from colds with complications of chest infections and painful sinuses and was regularly given antibiotics, this was before the days I knew that antibiotics were not man’s best friend.
Anyway I got the flu and I also discovered that this illness which I have been on the road to healing is actually autoimmune. I didn’t know this you see because my very ‘helpful’ doctors haven’t yet given me a proper diagnosis, except from Benign Fasciculation Syndrome which basically means your body is spasming and that’s just the way it is.
I had done ever so well before catching the flu, I had my bad days and very rarely awfully excruciating days but generally my symptoms have been manageable with times when I actually felt normal. I put this down to all the spiritual and psychological healing that has taken place to date because, when I first fell ill, I lived to sleep, feared leaving the house and when it got really bad I prayed for death.
So the flu woke me up, symptoms that I hadn’t experienced even in my really bad days manifested again and it made me realise two things:
- that I actually don’t have Benign Fasciculation Syndrome but the autoimmune Cramp Fasciculation Syndrome instead.
- That I have become really complacent about my healing because my symptoms have become more or less manageable and I can do things and I have grown so much in my walk that I had forgotten that the goal is healing not being OK.
So catching the flu has been a roundabout blessing for me in that it has opened my eyes to two realities and has really convicted me to take the next step on my road to healing.
The Impact of Diet on Healing
I have been aware for some time of the influence of diet on health, I have made some big changes to my diet already which is also why I think my health and well-being has improved. I have more or less eliminated dairy, gluten and chocolate/cocoa in that order. If anybody asks me whether it has helped the answer would be a resounding yes. When I did the Passover Cleanse a couple of years ago I not only lost weight going from a high 12 pushing size 14 to a low size 10, but I also felt more energetic.
But all that although great obviously hasn’t been enough to enable my body to fully heal, and full healing is possible I just have to look at all the many testimonials of people who have reversed and put their autoimmune illness into remission. And to be honest I feel that I have a secret weapon, I have YAH, His grace and His promises on my side.
So my decision which I have already begun to implement is to tackle the issue of diet with gusto, I will be broadly eliminating food groups one by one before starting to re-introduce them and seeing the effect on my body. I know it will be hard, food and emotions go hand in hand as well as food and custom, food and practicality, food and relationships but if I go step-by-step by YAH’s grace I will succeed.
There are things which I kinda know I will face like mood swings, the Passover Cleanse was quite traumatic for me as I craved chips like crazy and often felt like I was both starving and depriving myself of ‘real’ food. I have and will most likely face other Believers who choose to judge what I am doing, who don’t understand why I need to ‘go on a diet’ and prefer to simply say “just have faith”. To those people, I really don’t know what to say to you.
I am very happy with my decision, I am sure it will further test me, refine me and even clarify my own faith and beliefs and that’s really important because true success and wholeness (shalom) comes when our physical life is in alignment with our true self. I would be lying though if I said I wasn’t nervous even anxious, but I recall that as i transitioned from 2013 to 2014 YHWH laid these words on my heart “Beyond Fear”, freedom comes when we can move beyond fear.
So here’s to the next step on my road to healing, I’m not sure how long it will last or what I will meet along the way but I do know that my God is with me.
Fear not; for I am with you: be not dismayed; for I am your God: I will strengthen you; yea, I will help you; yea, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. (Isaiah 41:10)