I recall a line from an old journal,
“if this is healing, I never knew pain before”.
I can even recall exactly how I felt at that time, like my whole being was being pounded and twisted a thousand times to re-shape me and mould me ever more into the image of my Messiah. But it wasn’t pleasant, in fact I can safely say that it was one of the hardest times of my life. The cycle of transformation doesn’t really get much easier, I feel the only difference is a growing awareness that healing is ugly, messy and painful and an increased trust that the process and end result is worthwhile.
It seems strange to say doesn’t it? That something that man strives so much to experience, something that we assume should be beautiful, joyous and pain-free is in fact both beautiful yet ugly and joyous yet sorrowful. I am yet to find someone who has said that true healing is a pain-free process, but it could be the case, who knows!
I think at this point it’s important to clarify what I mean by healing. Do I mean physical healing from illness or disease? Do I mean emotional and mental healing? Do I mean spiritual healing? Yes and no. The type of healing I mean is all three yet more, it is the type of healing that transforms your entire being from the inside out and and outside in. You go in one way and you come out another.
Over the years as my interest in Biblical healing has grown, I have observed this truth over and over again in my life and the life of others around me. But even through the pain and the ugliness, there is a beauty that overrides all, the beauty of God which becomes increasingly radiant in the life of the individual. Less of man, more of the Divine. And this is where we are supposed to be, and this is why the transition from the carnal to the divine is such an ugly process. The old adage stands true here, ‘nothing of any value ever comes easily’.
Why am I writing this today? Well, I know that somewhere in the world at this point in time there are people crying, people hurting, people at breaking point yet they are being truly and deeply healed. I face this in my own life and in the life of those who I hold dear. I want you to know that this pain, this ugliness, this despair is temporary, for just like the earth-bound and drudging caterpillar who metamorphoses into a butterfly of great grace, beauty and flight you will come out bearing more of the glory of YHWH.
This process is crucial, there is no ‘eject’ button, this journey and struggle is part of your new you. This reminds me of a story that I read quite recently, I’m not sure if you have heard of it too. It is the story of a butterfly who was struggling to emerge from it’s cocoon.
A caring gardener saw a butterfly struggling, so moved with pity he cut a slit in the cocoon so that the creature could escape. Finally leaving behind the confines of it’s cocoon, the butterfly dropped to the ground. The gardener noticed that the butterfly had a swollen body and shrivelled wings, he watched and waited hoping that the butterfly would spread it’s wings and take flight.
It never did.
The gardener had failed to allow the butterfly to fully transition because he didn’t equate the butterfly’s struggle with it’s final destination. Without the struggle the butterfly wasn’t able to be fully transformed, instead of becoming a creature of beauty, grace and flight it was still a caterpillar but now with an engorged body and shrivelled wings.
The lesson here is that if we really want to be healed, if we really want to soar we must be prepared to face the struggle that comes with it. The struggle isn’t easy, but I believe that it shows us that we are nearing our place of victory.
Be blessed this week and know that no matter where you are in your healing journey, God has plans for your good.
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