My healing Journey starts in 2008 when I first realised that there was something really wrong however the road to illness started much earlier than that.
Here I am at age 18, about a year after this was taken I was diagnosed with depression. A little while later I started having panic attacks. I managed to ‘deal with the problems’ then but they only reared up again at university, where I was re-diagnosed with depression and started down the route of anti-depressants and counselling. It was YHWH that really got me through that time and I came out of uni with a 2:1 in Psychology.
In 2005 I started my first real professional job as a teacher, I enjoyed it and gave a lot of myself. Looking back I know I gave too much. I was working in an inner-city school which was stressful but it seemed that my whole life was pretty stressful, I had work problems, relationships problems, finance problems, family problems and I didn’t seem to have any time for myself at all (I think I explain it really well here).
Anyway I gradually became ill, it happened slowly at first, gradually building up momentum until my whole self was out of balance. It was at this stage I began to really look for God. Raised a Catholic I always had an awareness and a love for God yet the religion wasn’t enough to give me a true experience of Him; and at that time that was what I needed. I felt so bad both inside and out that I began praying for death, I didn’t feel God loved me, I struggled to believe that His Word was for me and I didn’t believe that I could ever experience any peace or joy again.
It came, on the 31st of December 2008 during a midnight service where I gave my life fully over to God through His Son. That was really the beginning of my road to healing, hence the name of this site. I learnt about the massive impact that stress has on our well-being and I don’t just mean physical stress but spiritual and psychological stress too and how this impacts on our everyday decisions and health behaviours.
I had to learn how to begin to heal by:
- coming face to face with many fears and anxieties which had led me to where I was
- learning to trust God and believe in His Word and His promises for my life
- learn to submit to His will and seek Him first as my life-source
- learn to recognise my stressors and how to manage and reduce their impact on me
- learn to respect and love myself (body, soul and spirit) and treat myself as a set-apart vessel of God
For example, 2013 was a massive turning point for me as YHWH began to deal with deep-seated fears so that I could begin to actually live life. I learnt many coping and stress-management strategies, made huge discoveries about who I was in Messiah, took a Christian counselling course which also helped bring much needed healing and developed a desire to just be free. All of this took time and none of this came easy.
If I’m honest I am still on my healing journey even now but what I have that I didn’t have back in the days when I was praying for death is belief, belief in God and belief that I am worthy and able to experience healing. I am passionate about belief being the cornerstone of experiencing abundant life.
One of my biggest struggles to date has been the behaviour of other Believers towards me, I now understand it as ignorance and lack of depth in relation to Biblical understanding. But I have been judged by others and early on in my journey I believed other people when they said I didn’t have enough faith, now I know that they just don’t have enough truth. I’ve wrote a lot about this in my book, and also various blog posts, here is one that you might enjoy on the Word of Life and another on the difference between faith and trust.
2014 was going to be the year that everything would happen for me, I would finally experience and receive my healing, push my ministry forward, start a family etc. I made plans to live a healthier life-style (best laid plans of mice and men), however I caught the flu and with that all my old symptoms which had been more or less dormant returned. I was afraid.
But even though the old terror gripped me something had changed, I was no more that woman who didn’t know her God. God had been taking me on this healing journey for me to get to the place where I could say:
Trust me, this is a BIG DEAL because it will be according to your belief (Matthew 9:29). So I decided to take action, I decided to make my doctor send me to a specialist in Oxford because as of yet I had no real diagnosis so was not being taken seriously, start a healing autoimmune diet. and ramp up my faith/belief walk, and knock stress and anxiety on the head through positive faith/belief statements and meditation.
All of these external and internal changes has had a big impact on my health and well-being. Today as I write this I honestly don’t know where my trust and faith in God has come from, but with it has come hope and joy and peace has sprung out from this. I believe that I am on the last leg of my healing journey and even though I am face-to-face with these symptoms of yore, I believe I have everything necessary to overcome and receive my long awaited healing. YAH (YHWH) has taken me on a journey of discovery, change, rebalancing and growth that all lead to healing.
What I blog about
This blog evolves all the time because it is my journey, however as my background is in psychology I tend to write about things from an inner healing perspective. I believe that true, deep and permanent healing comes from the inside out.
I believe that there are two triggers for all illness whether physical, psychological or spiritual: stress and dread (fear/anxiety) which can be traced to the Garden of Eden. As such I specifically help people understand the impact of stress and dread in their healing journey as without getting this right we often revert back to controlling and protecting behaviours which actually do us more harm than good.
So if you want to deal with blockages to healing which include belief, fear, anxiety, stress even faith then this is the right place for you. By tackling these things it frees us up to be and live FREE.
How can I help you?
As well as creating resources and regularly writing blog posts and articles designed to help you experience greater release, freedom and victory in your life. I offer therapeutic coaching which allows me to incorporate my background in pastoral care, counselling and psychology and everything that I have learnt and experienced myself in a format best designed to bring greatest change and healing to you.
Where are you right now? What is your biggest struggle? what is your greatest fear? What has been your greatest triumph on your healing journey? What do you give God the most praise for? Apply for a complimentary therapeutic coaching session with me and let’s get you living a fuller and more whole life.